What Dreams May Come
by AshleyJ1992
Summary: Tony roughly brushed away a stray tear with the back of his hand. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Jethro had promised.


Title: What Dreams May Come

Author: Ashley

Fandom: NCIS

Ship: Tony/Gibbs

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own the sandbox, just playing in it for a little while.

Spoilers: Hiatus (1&2)

Summary: Tony roughly brushed away a stray tear with the back of his hand. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Jethro had promised.

Author's Notes: I haven't written in a year or so. Last year I wrote a one shot for a good friend of mine for her birthday. I'm in a writing mood again, and now I am writing this one shot for my big sister, Susie Simpson. I'm finally out of my funk (hopefully) that my pregnancy stuck me in. I'm hoping that I will be writing much more from now on. Please read, enjoy, and review! (And I have to give credit to Tonnie, because if it hadn't been for her, this story would still be sitting, nameless, in word documents. So, thank you for the title of this story!)

"You'll do." Gibbs said gruffly as he placed his gun and badge into Tony's hand, before turning and walking away.

Tony gaped wordlessly as the man he loved walked away from him without a hint of recognition for his lover in his eyes. He had hoped beyond hope that Gibbs would remember him, that he would remember _them. _He had thought, when Gibbs had returned to NCIS, that he had. When Gibbs had looked at him, it was not a way that Gibbs had ever looked at him before, or anyone else for that matter. It was the way that _his _Jethro looked at him.

Tony roughly brushed away a stray tear with the back of his hand. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. They were supposed to have _years_ together, not this. Not six months.

Jethro had promised.

FLASHBACK

_Jethro smiled to himself as he lit the last candle around the garden tub, which was filled with softy scented bubbles, in his master bathroom. It would only be about five minutes before Tony arrived, and he wanted the night to be perfect. He poured two glasses of champagne from the chilled bottle on the marble counter top of his sink. _

_He slowly stripped out of his clothes as a light snow flurry started swirling around in the wind, right heard Tony's footsteps on the stairs. A brief moment later, Tony walked into the bathroom._

_His mouth dropped as he took in the sight before him: His soon-to-be lover submerged up to his chest in bubbles and hot water, the steam from the water rising in lazy swirls above him. The dim light cast from the candles was throwing seductive shadows around the room, and highlighting the falling snow outside beautifully. _

"_Wow Jeth… This is beyond amazing." Tony breathed, as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled the garment off his shoulders and tossed it on top of Jethro's own discarded clothes. "I'm at a loss for words here." _

"_Then why don't you shut the hell up, get of the rest of those clothes, and come join me?" Tony could hear the seduction, longing, and trepidation dripping from those words, and knew his face looked as Jethro's voice sounded. He slipped his socks, boxers and socks off in one fluid move and slowly sank into the large tub opposite Jethro. _

_The two men sat in a comfortable silence, sipping champagne and enjoying each other's company for a long while before Jethro finally broke the silence. "Tony, I-"_

"_I love you." It was Jethro's turn to be surprised and his mouth dropped, almost comically, as he cocked his head to the side. He was wondering if he had heard the younger man correctly, and Tony was just staring at him with a look of anxiety and fear etched onto his face. "Say something Jethro," Tony begged, "You're killing me."_

_Jethro slid over to Tony slowly, and placed a calloused hand on either side of his face. He forced the brown haired man to look at him. When emerald green eyes finally met icy blue ones, Jethro could see all it had taken Tony to say those three little words. He pressed a loving kiss to Tony's forehead and released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. _

"_And I love you, Tony." Jethro ran his thumb across his cheek gently as he spoke. Tony sighed happily and leaned his face into the touch. Jethro slipped his other hand around to the nape of Tony's neck and pulled him closer, so their lips were only a hairs breadth apart. "I've wanted to tell you for so long. You don't know how hard it has been these past two months to NOT tell you." Jethro pressed his lips to Tony's. "That's what all this is about," he added quickly, gesturing around the room. "That's what I was trying to tell you before you cut me off, you pain in the ass." _

_Tony let his forehead rest against Jethro's drawing strength and comfort from the older man's presence. "I've wanted to hear it. I've loved you for as long as I can remember, Jet." Tony met Jethro's eyes before he continued, "I've never told anyone that before…" Tony took a deep breath. "I don't know how to do the 'love' thing. I'm scared." He admitted the last part quietly and hesitantly._

"_We do it together, Tone." Tony rewarded his words with the most beautiful and innocent smile he had ever seen. _

"_Make love to me, Jethro." The brunette whispered, brushing a stray silver hair off Jethro's forehead as he stared into his eyes. He saw his own love reflected back in them. _

_Jethro nodded almost imperceptibly, and suddenly pulled Tony against him, their lips crashing together. He used his grip on the back of Tony's neck to anchor them together. The water protested their sudden movements, and some water sloshed over the side of the tub and onto the floor. Their lips moved softly against each other's- falling into a gentle rhythm was easy for them. Tony moved his hand and placed it on Jethro's cheek, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss, when Jethro suddenly pulled away. _

"_Slow down Love. We have the rest of our lives to rush things. I wanna do this right." Jethro said, smiling warmly. The snow had picked up outside, falling in thick swirls. Neither man could have asked for a more beautiful night. It was perfect. _

"_You promise?" Tony asked, breathlessly. Jethro nodded, a small smile on his face that tugged at the corners of his eyes, and made him look at least ten years younger. He leaned in to kiss Tony again, and muttered against his lips._

"_I promise."_

END FLASHBACK

"Tony!" Abby was waving her hand in front of his face, apparently having tried several times to get his attention. "Earth to Tony!" Tony blinked a few times, before he finally focused on Abby.

"Yeah, Abs?" Tony tried to ignore the pain in his chest as he took in the tears already on her face, and the unshed ones filling her pretty green eyes. "Oh, Abs." He pulled her into his arms, and it was like a dam broke, for both of them. Abby's whole body began to heave with sobs, as Tony put his chin gingerly on top of her head and gently rubbed her back. The whole time the held onto each other, Tony could barely control his breathing. He felt like he'd lost a piece of himself when Gibbs had walked away from them.

Tony noticed Tim and Ziva standing together, their hands loosely joined, several yards away. Their foreheads were touching, neither of them speaking nor crying. They just stood silently drawing support and comfort from one another, just like he and Jethro used to do. He closed his eyes and turned his head so that his cheek was resting against Abby's hair, refusing to allow any tears.

All four of them stood that way, not speaking to one another, instead just finding solace in the comfort of each other, of their remaining family, until Abby finally broke the silence. "I don't want to be alone tonight." She whispered into Tony's shirt, just barely loud enough for the others catch.

"You come home with us, Abs." Tim said suddenly, looking at Ziva who nodded her agreement quickly.

"You both can." She added quietly, looking at Tony as she spoke. Tony shook his head sadly, and kissed Abby's hair before he released her.

"I'd rather be alone. I need some time to think. I really appreciate it though, guys." He added the last part on as almost an afterthought. "Why don't you guys go on? I'll call you all tomorrow, once I figure all this out." Tim and Ziva nodded, and Abby threw her arms around him again. He knew they would understand.

Tony kissed Abby and Ziva on the cheek, and grasped Tim's shoulder briefly as they left. He tried to ignore the concerned look that Abby was giving him as she walked onto the elevator, and forced a smile onto his face for her. He knew he didn't fool her: the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. He stood there for a few more minutes, looking around the bullpen, before he switched his desktop off, grabbed his bag, and followed his team out. He cast a longing glance at Gibbs desk as the elevator doors slid shut, with a foreboding sense of finality.

After driving around aimlessly for over an hour, Tony found himself sitting in front of Gibbs' house. He'd surprised himself by ending up there, as it hadn't been his intention. But, he reminded himself that he _had _been living there for the past two months. Tony took a deep breath, climbed out of his car and made his way to the front door. He shuddered at how long the walk seemed without Jethro by his side. Twisting the door knob, he wasn't shocked when it swung open easily. All the lights were off, and the house seemed cold to him. He walked up to the master bedroom, the room where they had slept next to each other every night, and a lump formed in his throat. He glanced over at the bathroom door, and quickly left the room. He passed the hall closet, and noticed that it was open and that Jethro's carryon bag was missing. Tony stopped and ran a shaky hand through his hair before turning back into the bedroom and stripping out of his suit and into one of Jethro's t-shirts and a pair of his own sweats.

He stood for a moment looking around the room. He didn't quite know what he was going to do; he hadn't renewed his lease at his own apartment so he could move in with Jethro. He sighed heavily and walked out of the bedroom again and down the stairs. He had so many memories in this house, and he wasn't sure if he could bear to leave it behind, although he wasn't sure if he could bear to stay without Jethro either. He padded softly into the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, twisting the top off and taking a long drink before he left the kitchen, shutting off the light as he left.

After walking around the house several times, studiously avoiding the one place he knew he would feel Jethro's presence the most, Tony stood facing the basement door. He closed his eyes as he opened the door, momentarily overwhelmed by the smell of sawdust that was always central to the smell of the older man; no matter what Jethro did, he always smelled of sawdust and coffee. Gripping his beer a bit tighter in his hand, Tony made his way farther into the basement, switching the light on at the bottom.

He took a deep breath and glanced around, shocked at how small the basement felt without Jethro in it. The boat that they had started building together took up a good portion of the basement, but she was still far from done, and Tony realized with a pang that it probably never would be finished. "Damn you Jethro," he whispered as he ran a hand across the smooth rib of the boat closest to him. "You promised!" Anger finally gripped Tony and he threw his beer across the room, watching with shaking fists as it shattered into a thousand pieces. With a scream of pure desolation and anger, Tony stared throwing everything he could get his hands on. Mason jars, tools, and pieces of unused lumber flew unceremoniously around the room. The silence and blind rage was punctuated only by the thud and shattering glass of things hitting the concrete walls before they fell to the floor. Tony finally fell to the ground against the boat and let go of all the pain built up in his chest, and the tears fell down his cheeks without abandon. He was heartbroken, having lost the better half of himself when Gibbs walked away from him.

He had given his all to their relationship, and he was actually happy for once in his life. Jethro had been everything he needed, yet never thought he deserved and now his world was crashing down around him in a million pieces, just like the glass jars that lay broken all over the floor. He was broken, not knowing now what to do. He had left behind his old life in favor of a new and exciting one with his lover, and it had been like a dream. Their age difference had never slowed them down, Jethro had shown him what it was like to be loved, shown him what it meant to be in a loving relationship. They had learned and grown together as a couple and had explored their new life together with relish, enjoying every single moment of it. Tony pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, resting his forehead on them gingerly. Jethro had survived the explosion, but for all intents and purposes he may as well have been dead. He continued to cry until there were no more tears left and his body heaved with dry sobs, until he fell asleep on the basement floor. His dream had turned into a nightmare.

He woke with a start sometime later, his back ached and his face hurt. He wasn't sure what roused him from his sleep, until he looked up and saw Jethro sitting on the stairs across the room. Tony blinked a few times, sure that he was dreaming, and even rubbed his eyes for good measure.

"I was on the plane. I was going to Mexico to stay with Frank." Jethro said softly, looking at his hands. "There was this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I couldn't shake, and then this young guy smiled at me. He looked so much like you, Tone. It all hit me at once, like a wrecking ball and I remembered." Jethro looked up at him, and Tony could see that his eyes were red and shiny. "I am so sorry, Tony."

"Jethro?" Tony cocked his head to the side as if he was still not sure of what he was seeing.

"I'm here Tony, really and truly here." Jethro stood up and walked toward Tony slowly, almost hesitantly, unsure if the man was going to throw himself at him or attack him.

Tony chose the latter, pitching forward and bunching his fist up, taking a swing at Jethro. Jethro, despite his age, was still faster and caught Tony's fist in his hand and pulling him against his chest.

"You son of a bitch! You almost died, and then you woke up, and you didn't remember _anything_! You didn't remember the team, you didn't remember the case, and you didn't remember ME!" Tony struggled against Jethro's chest as he yelled, the tears rolling down his cheeks again. "Do you have any idea how that felt?! I wanted to hold you, to tell you how much I loved you, and tell you that you were going to be okay, but I couldn't! You didn't even know who I was! And then you just walked away. I didn't get to say goodbye, and I knew I would never see you again." Tony stopped struggling and let Jethro hold him tightly while the anger slowly seeped out of them.

"I'm so sorry, Tony."Jethro kissed Tony's forehead gingerly, wrapping his arms around him tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too Jethro, you know I do." Tony whispered.

"Can you forgive me?" Jethro asked, only half teasing, pulling away to look into Tony's eyes.

"Yes." Tony breathed. "I'm just glad you're here, Jethro. I never thought I would see you again."

"I promised Tony."

"What?" Tony gave Jethro a questioning look, cocking his head minutely to the side.

"I promised you that we would have our whole lives together." Tony smiled his trademark dazzling smile at him, and nuzzled his nose into the soft curve of Jethro's neck.

"Yes, you did, didn't you?"

And in the moment, Tony wondered why he had ever doubted that promise.

They had a long way to go to get back to the way they were, it would take work to fix what had broken inside Tony that night, and it would take time to help Jethro rebuild all his memories.

They would share their dreams of the future, and they would do it together.


End file.
